A Sleep I Shall Have

The life that I have is all that I have
And the life that I have is yours
The love that I have of the life that I have
Is yours and yours and yours.

A sleep I shall have, a rest I shall have
And death will be but a pause
For the years I shall have in the long green grass
Are yours and yours and yours.

I have been back at university now for about 1 month and so much has happened both personally and professionally. Again we have been asked for our unit of 'personal development planning' to document our year, our successes and our downfalls and again i have returned to this blog to talk everything through at the end of the weeks that sometimes approach so quickly and yet sometimes seem to take forever to get to the end.

I am sat on a sunday night watching a film ('shutter island') that i have not paid enough attention to, in order to understand it as i have been a 'hardworking' student drawing a vintage suitcase i sourced in a charity shop back home, this drawing i hope to be the base of my ideas for my motif for a scarf we have 3 weeks to design/make/make into a garment/photograph. 

I have been almost struggling to cope with the work load this first part of the term as i have been struggling to cope with the death of my grandpa whose funeral i attended the monday just gone. I have felt angry at the world for taking somebody from me who i never got the chance to say goodbye to and who will never know who i am today or who i will become. I only have childhood memories of him and i find myself becoming immersed in these thoughts so often at the moment that i wonder whether it would of been better or worse to of had memories of him for the whole of my life. When something like this happens i think everyone begins to question what matters, what means more to them. I feel a need to reach out to my nanna and see how she is beginning to cope without the man by her side who has been there every morning and every night for the past 57 years and also to build a deeper and stronger relationship with her so that i dont have the same regrets i have had with my grandpa and i have taken something from this situation and that it hasnt happened and i havent learnt from these regrets. University may be a learning curve but life is more so.