i want to write one of those final statements for this blog so itll be handed in and ill say bye to this 'project' but i dont really feel like doing that tonight i have thousands more things i want to write in here and i still have a day left so i guess this is the pneultimate goodbye. Universitys getting more and more stressful, i find myself being rude and bitchy to people when i should refrain, everything just becomes a battle when you get into the studios, a battle to make progress that day. Even when i come home it doesnt end, i have my italian exam tomorrow and i need to learn how to speak it, i currently know 'ciao mi chiamo paige ho venti anni' i already know this will barely get me one mark and yet i cant motivate myself today, i guess everyones allowed one day where they just cant be positive but the days this happen always seem to be the most inconvenient, if only you could plan when you'd feel like stopping the time and just taking a few hours out and away from everyone and everything, i just want time to myself. I dont want time to myself at uni, or at home or at any of the homes of others i try to fit into, i honestly just want to go find a little house by the seaside with no computer, no tv, no one i know and grab a good book and bake and sew and knit and sit down and enjoy music ! not trying to cram these things into my life or being made to them but to take some time, i wont be greedy one day and one night will do just to get off this mad journey ive been on for years, constantly moving from house to house from home to home, first im in empingham, then i travel backwards and forwards from there to oakham and then i go to leeds and travel far and wide to leicester, to london, back home anywhere to get away and then back to coventry to leicester to coventry to leicester to oakham. Its just tiring and tonight i got a harsh reminding of my family and what kind of family i have and it spent my mood spiralling into this blog post and its now 22.43 and i need to revise italian.